Archive for July, 2009

how come

here’s a thought: how is it that you can sue cigarette companies for giving you cancer and micky ds for getting you fat, but you can’t sue alcohol companies for all the ugly people you boned?


-ozzy osbourne: demon alcohol-


rush rush rush rush


-digicamography, lomography, photoshop-

it’s always a rush to grow up when we were younger.  we can’t wait to drive. can’t wait to move out. can’t wait to get our own place. can’t wait to attain that total freedom. and i remember the many many times what my older friends would tell me, that growing up and being adult is no fun but i wouldn’t believe it. now i am here at this point of time of my life, i starting to see the truth in what they said.

we were oblivious to notice that with total freedom comes total fuck ups too, with no ‘get out of jail’ free cards and nobody to cushion the hard blows of reality. traversing this minefield of adulthood, suddenly the safety of a home with free meals and board doesn’t seem so bad after all. unfortunately, going back isn’t as easy as coming out. well at least not for me. for the choices i made and the things i did. but that would be another story for another time.

hence i immerse myself very much in the past. not only of with the good times of my childhood but also with the past ghosts of wrong decisions made. not exactly a good way to live a life but that’s the only way i know.

and it’s always good to know someone cares to know enough of you to actually find out and give you a piece of your past back, momentarily…

the bounty bars were great. they reminded me of  past summer holidays. of bodies and faces pressed against each other into a tiny car. genuine smiles, laughters and semi cold fosters in hand. driving with the top down in our rented holden barina cabrio. the sun’s heat hammering on our squinty eyed faces. singing out of tune to the radio. hugging the rolling roads of yarra valley.

very very good memories indeed.

thank you so much, ana *smiles*

intro outro

if there’s one thing i really dislike to do for my friends, it is playing matchmaker. i would, the most, do a quick introduction but i would not go as much as to be the middleman and set things up from A to Z. if i enjoyed doing things like that, i might as well be a pimp and make money out of it.  so how you take it from the point of my introduction is no longer my business. you can bump uglies later for all i care. just keep me uninformed, thanks.

so at least when things go south, you don’t blame me. and yes, that is a big warning sign with flashing lights all over. there’s a reason why she is nicknamed ‘bad news’ betty.

and ‘bad news’ betty is bad news indeed.

the warning

Teenage girls are God’s best work and the Devil’s best tool. Remember that my friend.

received that sms from a friend a few hours back. not too sure what has happened to him but i’m pretty sure that cryptic warning has something to do with someone he met at a cheerleading event that he chauffeured his sister to not too long ago.

we once, in our drunken stupor, deduced that anything 16 to 40ish is fair game. he then proceeded to approach random ladies in the establishment, with a bottle of chivas in hand. needless to say, he wasn’t successful. but then it has more to do with him spacing out, chugging the chivas alone than actually approaching any potential ladies, which he thought he did. so 16 to 40ish, though this friend of mine has a penchant for the lower range of numbers in that statement. me, i guess i have pretty much weaned myself off anything 25 and below.

an observation from a girl friend: nowadays i tend to look at personality and maturity first before physical attributes. according to her, it’s a sign i am growing up.


pfft… ha fucking ha babe. ha. fucking. ha.

fear and loathing


-digicamography, photoshop-

here’s a salute to that all important day. one more tick to the clock. the nagging fear that i am running out of time. one more digit to the count. one less notch on the counter to achieve what i want to. self loathing. one step closer to… whatever. i need more time. need more work… wait no, need more work that actually pays. things are moving so slow. too slow. i need more. more.


so ‘are you anywhere’ now guys/girls? here’s to the 4-20 heroes, where ever you guys/girls are; creating work of arts, saving lives and sealing deals. here i am, continuing our long lost legacy of  ‘phattie birthday’ by myself. i still remember my first ‘baby sitting’ birthday *laughs*

what would make it perfect now are those mary brownies and crippling chip cookies may may used to bake. delicious buzz.

but seriously it just isn’t the same. smoking alone really sucks when there’s no one to laugh at *smiles*

so take care heroes. here’s one puff to all yours and mine too, of course… good health, great wealth and complete happiness all around.


i am really sorry…

so i was at a lost for words. as the cursor blinks, i wracked my brains for the correct words to say but found none. i don’t know why i said what i said, but i said sorry back to you too. but in truth i never regretted the times we shared together. this thing we have is not wrong. unfortunately, we were star-crossed and this must come to an end. i just regret that i can never be with you again like that saturday in february. or any of those so many ‘other days’ over so many years that we spent, stolen, in a pseudo relationship.

i think i have in part, as much to do with crushing my own heart as you said you did. i hoped a fool’s hope. i needed love and wanted salvation but you have none to give. at least not to me, but i don’t blame you.

you know, now after that short conversation with you, after you put down the phone and i still held on listening to the disconnected tone; i thought well and wanted to say to you: in truth i am not sorry at all because i know the last thing we shared together was really love.

-ash: starcrossed-



-digicamography, photoshop-

best wishes to my good friends, J+J.

have a happy and fruitful life together; and be good to each other, always ^^