Archive for December, 2007

heartseeking missile


-digicamography, photoshop-

xb, your arms outstretched, a heartseeking missile. you dove into my waiting embrace and soulcrushed my well thought of defenses.

you lifted me up, you pulled me down.

i am all bared for you to devour.

then you, with your rapidfireiloveyous, proceeded to unwittingly tear an unprepared me asunder.

-placebo: blind-


you can’t always get what you want

as the year draws to an unceremonious end, i can’t help but sit in the dark and wonder if all I’ve done so far this year could be done better or done in a different way. if i should’ve done what i did and do what i did not.

and there’s always that hopelessly hoping kind of ‘hope’ for a second chance at something, somewhere, somehow. And if you try sometimes, you find what you want might not actually be what you need. But deep down in your heart, no matter how hard you try, you know it will never happen.

a muse once told me: you can never always have what you want…

-rolling stones: you can’t always get what you want-

love buzz

‘this is for you’, she smiled and mouthed silently as the pierceinkpain drew furrows of concentration across her eyebrows.

i smiled to her, but in my heart i wish she didn’t say that. i am not deserving of this you put in my name, on your virgin skin. i know, i may be all that you want but i can never be all that you can have.

So i could only smile weakly and say it’s beautiful when you asked me. when in truth, all i really wanted to say was goodbye.

-nirvana: love buzz-

merry tropical xmas


-digicamography, photoshop-

she smsed: ello ello surprise surprise, it’s your jetsettinghawtwriterphotographermuse here, baby. go check your email! =)

i logged into my mail and sure enough, i saw an email from her with a picture attached:

wish you were here, this place is heaven. the water is wonderfully warm, people are amazingly nice but their bodies are dreadfully cold. merry xmas. xoxo.

yeah… in some ways, i wish i was there too babe. it’s been quite some time since i last saw you eh? you have been dearly missed by this heartbodysoul, my jetsettinghawtwriterphotographermuse. may the island boys treat you with the same lustadoration that i shower you with. well who am i kidding. unless they’re blind, how can they afford not to worship your amazing drool-worthy 36C2534gymtonedtattooedpiercegoddessbody? some, with good luck, can try to and few can please… but i guess that’s not the type of love you’re looking for.

i’m sorry i can’t offer you much more than this yesnomaybe. so, please don’t stay away too long. you know how i miss your the pulls of your heartgravity.

-john mayer: gravity-

twas the night before christmas…

…and i’m sitting alone, hammering at the keyboard, writing this post. sad? well yes and no. sad, because i am bored and lonely but you must know, it is an isolation by choice. i think i burned out the last of my party cells a few years back. with that said, i’m not a hermit, per se. i do enjoy the company and hearty conversation with good people, sprinkled with equally copious amount of good alcohol. for as the saying goes: no man is an island, entire of itself. but as i’ve mentioned before, with age comes a lower tolerance to overblown bullshit and mock pretentiousness, especially of the alcohol kind. does that make me sound like a snob? i’m sorry if it does. i’m pretty sure due to alcohol i have been many-a-times assholic myself but i’m well aware that a lot of people share my reason and point of view.

so i sit here on christmas eve, typing away. maybe i’ll game a little and bid merry christmas to my faceless online friends across the seven seas. or watch christmas reruns on cable tv. yeah, with the passing years, christmas has become mundane like that. oh well.

and there’s nothing more i enjoy nowadays than just plain chilling out (friends and alcohol optional) on the giant bean bag, with dance/triphop/chillout music blasting out from my swanky 5 figure stereo system. close your eyes, everything is in the mind they say. and good memories are always welcomed reruns.

and it’s been raining since 4pm. great. so have a merry soggy christmas guys and girls.

-the shapeshifters: if in doubt, go out-

the sincerest form of flattery

sunday reflections.

reading through her blog today, i was struck by a paragraph. i started to think how and why. and suddenly, i was overwhelmed by guilt. plagiarism, they say, is the sincerest form of flattery. the act of copying directly or indirectly someone else’s work, is indeed stealing. and unfortunately, i am guilty of that from time to time. i cannot help but be struck by wonderfully written words or beautifully captured angles. it’s weird how your brain retains that particular paragraph or that photo you saw, and how it’s attempts to regurgitate it in another same different sentence/paragraph or angle/view.

i’ve seen my posts from my old blog wholly reproduced on a stranger’s blog. i’ve seen my image taken, cropped and used as that person’s own personal work of art. i have even seen some of my friend’s works reproduced, used and eventually went on to win some awards/prizes for the plagiariser. and there are cases their faces (the pretty/good looking ones) used as some stranger’s friendster/facebook profile picture. now that’s the epitome of shamelessness.

and so you, if you see anything mimicking your writings or photos here, i would like to first apologise. and if you want to, i will remove it, unconditionally.

so yeah, i should let you know. watching from the sidelines all these years, struck by those words of yours, i started writing again. always two bodies, one soul. two minds, one image. two mouths, one voice. two quills, one word. echolalia. the inescapable collision of you and me. maybe it’s only me feeling it but i know, in some peculiar way, you feel it too.

yes, writing this does not make things right… sorry… but this flattery here, this is for you.

-howie day: collide-

the pleasure of your company


-lomography, photoshop-

there are some people that i don’t see that often. and my heart truly misses them dearly. but when they do come around once or twice a year, i have the pleasure of being graced by their good company. so babe, the short time with you, enjoying a hearty drink and decadent food , it was all good. wish we had more time. we never really did got around to do that beers and ramly burger outside a 7-11’s 5-foot way session eh? haha.

so yeah, it’s nice seeing you again. nice to see a good change. nice to see that you’re truly happy now. so hopefully, i shall miss you less and see you more from now on.

take care of yourself, be good. i’ll watch over you, always.

-faithless: miss you less, see you more-