Archive for September, 2007

rinse repeat 365

wake up at 10am.. go to work around 11+am… slack around, do the occasional work… lunch at 2-3pm… slack around, do the occasional work… dinner with colleagues at 6pm… hang around, do some work if i still have to mood to till 9-10ish pm… go home, stay online till 5-6am, sleep <repeat>

-devildriver: i could care less-

a bullet to end it all

whoa.whirlwind.betty.me.around.

life’s really getting tiring as fuck… somedays i wish i could just easily say: that’s it, i’m done, thanks for the ride… give up and be absorbed back into the earth and get broken up into basic organic building blocks to form other things all over again… cos between working yourself to the bones, all your plans not working out, being broke all the time, having shit happen to you back to back and heartbreaks… there should be some sunshine, rainbows and singing bird ala disney cartoons. but then i don’t get any of those, ever… my life is like a bad c-grade comedy rerun, a slapstick shithole where the main actor gets hit by cars, staggers to fall into a manhole, climb out and gets nailed by a truck… it’s like one where you laugh hahaha in the beginning but then as it slowly drags on, you can just shake your head and sigh at the poor actor’s predicaments…

people would say suffer to live, but those that says so i reckon have not suffered enough or just as much… as a person that believes in a karmic cycle, i sure as hell hope my “reward” would be happening to me sometime soon… like now soon…

so tired…

-love me butch: hollywood holiday-

save the girl, save the world

so quiet honey, you’re not answering me… i worry for you…

know this…

it hurts me to see you hurt… but i’m helpless to help you… i want to save you, you know that… please know that you have my love, my beautifully named one…

welcome home honey, my arms is open… waiting for you… *hugs*

-bebel gilberto: bencao-

loss

my feeling of  loss is overwhelming. nothing i try ever works and all the plans i laid out is meaningless. but i guess losing you was the breaking point. i miss those “you-can-do-it” and “nevermind-try-again-i’m-with-you”. and i especially miss “i-love-you-dear-no-matter-what-happens”

today… 

today there’s a black hole of pain and doubt in my chest and it’s consuming me bit by bit…

 -a perfect circle: weak and powerless-

what god giveth, the devil made better

sex…

god just made it pleasureable… but the devil… the devil made it sinfully amazing… 

honey… what i would give to fuck you till i see you throw your head back, swear and dig your nails into my back…

yeah you… honey, it’s you… you know i want you…

-jesus and mary chain: sugar ray-

sorry love

i love you my dear…

(but somedays i think i still miss/love/lust her more… sorry…)

-texas: say what you want-

old habits

i came home to a cold plate of breakfast and a cold cup of coffee still sitting on the kitchen counter. somedays while rushing to get to work, i always absent mindedly prepare breakfast for two…

somedays it’s so easy forget, that you don’t stay here anymore…

-marilyn manson: i put a spell on you-