Archive for December, 2008

hirano aya in malaysia?


-breaking news (well to me at least)-

holy shit, i cannot believe she is in kl for a photoshoot. our local resourceful stalkers… uh, i mean… fans have tracked her down based on her frequent image updates on her blog via her handphone. heck, there’s even a google map triangulation based from the position of klcc from one of the picture she posted up. you guys are madness… (=_=);

i salute you aya-tards. i am her fan but i am not that big on stalking people. if any of you are interested, just hop on over to to check out where she is next. apparently the last i read, she and her crew is in a cab heading somewhere for the countdown or is she heading to klia, going back to japan already? i can only understand a bit of what she wrote. goddamn it, my kanji fails me, agh (≧▽≦)

okay have a good countdown and happy new year people. time for me to head out. you too aya, hope you enjoyed your stay here in malaysia. have a safe flight back to japan (^_-)☆~

平野 綾: 冒険でしょでしょ?-


reflective retrospective

it’s the last day of the year and as with everybody else, i am feeling a tad retrospective and melancholic. it’s human nature i guess. one cannot help but rewind and reflect, be reminded and ponder on the ‘other paths’ and the implications of another multiple ‘if-then-else’ choices.

i was never a lucky person to begin with. i want to be. i tried. but lady luck is one of the girls that i could never tame. god knows how hard i tried and it’s still difficult for me to look back and be reminded of that eight digit bank account that i could have had, might have had and wonder how my life will be wonderfully different if i had it. i don’t deny the fact that i live my life chasing for monetary pleasures but now i make do by just being like any other normal person. i am a shakaijin, pushing forward, working at it one day at a time. call me a fool but till today i still chase for that fictional pot of gold at the end of that elusive rainbow. i guess a fool will always be a fool and old habits do really die hard.

i was never a lucky person to begin with. i want to be. i tried. but love is something that is mysterious to me. i reckon i am too much of a free spirit. but with that said, as frivolous and fleeting my feelings are, i do love. i try and put my whole heart and being in, sometimes just a little too much. and when i disengage, voluntarily or not, i leave many pieces of me behind. my normal girls, my good girls, my special girls… i love all my girls. from sabah, sarawak, kl, ipoh, singapore, changrai, shanghai, london, osaka and the list grows. too far, too soon, too messy, too little, too much. i always entangle my heart and complicate my reasons. i am addicted to loving and being loved. but as my hawtwritermuse says to me: ‘always take what you can get and give what you can afford’ well said babe and that is how i shall steer my heart from now on.

and so it’s the last day of the year and everybody is feeling reflective retrospective. so many things has happened to me this year, more bad than good, but forever forward i shall go. if there was a backtrack or rewind button, i would’ve already worn it thin from frequent usage. so here we’re all walking forward while looking behind. i hope fate and chance would be kind enough to deal me a good hand in 09. as bleak as the outlook for next year is, i wish you all out there the best in life, love and money. and if there’s no love for you, then fuck it. you all get out there and live your life to the fullest for yourself. and work towards the money too, of course ^^

-asian kung fu generation: rewrite- (アジアン・カンフー・ジェネレーション: リライト)



-screencap, photoshop-

packed schedule for last week and over this weekend with friends, good friends, special friends and new friends. keeping my mind off a lot of things. of life and of the heart. but tomorrow everybody goes back to a normal schedule and next year is looming over the horizon. wonder if i could cope and achieve what i aimed to do. i seriously hope so.

so many promises to so many people. so much support and love.

nothing is holding me back now.

except myself.

a totally random sub post note due to a recent overdose of jpop and jrock:

土屋アンナ is so fucking hot, period.

You’re my ginger
You’re my fire
You take me higher
Yeah, our situation’s gonna blow

(thanks for yours, yours, yours and your time. you girls are absolutely amazing creatures with wonderful healing touches.)

-土屋アンナ feat.MONKEY MAJIK – Ginger-

speed dail number one and two

Edit > Edit Speed Dial > Speed Dial Number One > Delete. Edit > Edit Speed Dial > Speed Dial Number Two > Delete

your handphone number and your home number. this speed dail is no longer your place anymore.

i am beginning to accept that fact that there is only going forward. no more reasons to look back and hope you’re waiting to run to me and say it was all a test. this is my first step to saying goodbye, slowly letting go of all those small things that are meaningful to me. delete. delete. forget.

-zero 7: speed dail no.2-


じゅり, メリークリスマス。私はあなたの声を逃す。

[ミーシャ: あなたのための歌]

merry christmas


-digicamography, photoshop-

360 degrees. full circle. a year has passed. and we’re back to where we started again.

as much as i hate this season, it’s hard not to get swept up in the revelry, especially when there’s a copious amount of alcohol and illegal substances mixed in with the sea of beautiful faces and bevy of friendly heavenly bodies. and oh not forgetting my friends who were around as well, of course.

but being the alwaysemoboy, i still wonder how would you be this season. when we have spent quite a few together over the past few years. some might not be the best times i reckon. we even stayed home and did nothing one year. oh wait, we did do something: you opening up your presents, which we used till the wee hours of the morning. but let’s not dwell and just keep those private moment as wonderful memories shall we?

merry xmas to you xb. may you have a wonderful time out there. wishing you all the best, always and good luck in your future undertaking.  you can do what you want and be whomever you want to be. you’ll be going many places and climbing many ladders.

i have faith in you. i always do.

[FLOW – SNOW FLAKE ~記憶の固執~]


we’re such fickle fickle creatures. almost always never happy with what we have, always chase the new and interesting and want the nigh unattainable. much to the detrimental health of our body, mind and soul. but i guess that what’s makes us learn, grow and evolve.

some days, just some days i wish we’re machines with predetermined paths and choices. that would make us so much happier because we would be oblivious, we would never have the reason to want or need anything else other than the things we’re already programmed with/for.

but i guess that would make all of us a carbon copy of each other. uninteresting, bland, similar.

and it is with all this knick, knocks, cuts and dents, we’re made truly unique, none the same. with our varied experiences, we grow to be separate individuals with separate thoughts, feelings and emotions.

not mine, not yours. look. smile. talk. laugh. bump. brush. touch.