still

still picking up the pieces after 2 years. feeling better now. alcohol and drugs do wonders. funny how breaking other peoples’ hearts was so easy to do. how adamant i can be when i put my foot down and say sorry, no, it’s not working out, goodbye. getting your own broken, now that’s a bitch…

but with that said, i’m not totally heartless. i do (try to) love post-you, but it’s not the same for me. my heart and mind refuses to accept anyone else. truthfully, all those that came after you pales in comparison to your wit, your attentiveness, your joie-de-vivre, your amazing culinary skills. maybe they don’t laugh or smile the way you do. maybe they don’t have those little nuances or habit of yours that i have grown used to. maybe they don’t make Tarte de Pommes a la Normande or creme brulee the same way as you do. maybe they don’t enjoy sex the way you do. maybe they don’t move, moan or like being dominated like you do.

maybe i’m just comparing too much. yeah.

maybe i’m slowly turning into a relationship vampire-asshole. i seriously hope i’m not but yeah, move on move on, regardless, they say… *brings out the little black book*

-snow patrol: make this go on forever-

moving on

moving on is never easy to do. how does one drop a decade of friendship and almost love and move on? how loud is your silence that it shatters my very being into a million heart broken shards? i was told to move on, i try but i doubt i can ever do it. i loved you too much. i placed too much hope in you and in the fragile our-future-together plans. in your promises to me. i held on to your every words like precious gems. i worked myself raw with the thought of living a lifetime with you. but alas my plans bore no results and your promises is but naught…

but the sun still shines, the world still turns, time still goes neverstoppingforward… and i live my life in a miasma of our memories…

-incubus: love hurts-

you

you might not read this…

but then you might… you might read this and don’t know it’s me… or you might have an idea it could be me because this is the way i write that attracted you in the beginning… 

you might forget this ever existed, just a boring entry amongst the millions on the internet… you might bookmark this and come back to check for updates, because you’re a sucker for emo posts like this…

with all things said, one thing is for sure… 

this thing here… i started this is for you…

– mew: comforting sounds-

something old, something new

something old, something new. somethings just need to be shown, written and shared with the world. but somethings will stay hidden.

take this with a pinch of salt. sometimes madeupfictional, sometimes glaringlytruthful. she might be real(or not). she might be you. she might not be you but there’s definitely a little of her in every female. she might be her own person or an amalgam of all the girls i’ve known/been with. sometimes(most of the time?) painful, sometimes(rarely?) happy.

a blog about moving on, about my passion, life with occasional(often?) random ramblings in-between. enjoy the ride if you’re new to me. welcome back to those that has stalked me since the beginning of my web logging history.

-mew: like paper cuts-