i like the scars

Sunday reflections.

i like the scars you left on my back when i first took you.

“it could hurt”, i said. you smiled and told me you would hurt me back if it did.

i will not pretend that i remember them when you were still around. these light, raised lines across my back, for they were so much a part of me. these gifts of affection were so easily discarded and  forgotten. i blame youth. we were so young. and we were all just transient creatures crossing paths in the eddies of life.

it’s been 10 years. the distinct keloids are almost gone, the lighter colors have faded into my skin tone, my finger pads brush on almost smoothed out skin instead of those imperfect knots and valleys that i’ve grown so used to.

i try so hard now to reminisce the you that i fell in love with. i look at those pictures of us that i still have and try to remember your character. your smile. your laughter.

everything in fragments. almost gone. just like you.

koginavaan, i would always wish you well. it still tears me up inside, because of me you are now what you have become. and if i could go back again and set things right, i would gladly do so…

-dj shadow: six days-

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