friday night and i was hoping a good time with alcohol and strangers would ease this restlessness.  i was introduced and thoroughly hooked from the word hi. her hands on my lap. her come hither laughs. there would be a time i would have already jumped her. my physical reactions says yes but it seems flirtations and kisses from a beautiful stranger don’t seems to work as well as i hope it should. i shouldn’t have said no to her when she offered, but it seems so much like this is a dance that is headed for a swandive into the pavements 33 floors below.

a friend once said: waking up the next morning awkward sometimes is better than waking up all alone. true. i have been waking up alone for far too many nights.

though now in this case i am sure i am not what she really wants and she is definitely not what i need.

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