this is not a sad post. sometimes it is better to say goodbye and part ways, rather than to stay put, not being 100% there and keep fucking up. i don’t expect you two to truly understand what and why i do what i did. i have explained my dilemmas and i am not defending my faults. i was wrong. i fucked up big time. i am truly sorry.

you gave me the best 1 year of my life. funny that we started out being friends, of all the things, in an online game *laughs*  you infected me with the drive to try something new and the want… no, the NEED to succeed. you have great ideas but please don’t spread yourself too thinly. you want to do many things, way too many at one go. you will burn yourself out.

you gave me the best 5 years of my life. i never regret the day i met you in 1u for lunch.  i was so nervous, i just had my usual liquid lunch diet of beer to calm my nerves *smiles* i am glad for the times you spent with me. you are definitely a girlfriend and a best friend throughout all these years. you held me up in my times of need. you cajoled and pushed me ahead when i needed some prodding. you are oh so perfect in every single way and i rue the day that i made the choice to make you leave me. so be free, keep writing, keep chasing stars and oh… keep that impressive temper in check please *grins*

the path you both chosen is not mine. as much as i try, i just can’t hack it. maybe it’s true: you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. or maybe this old dog is just too ‘not there’ and preoccupied with his own personal dilemmas to pick up. so maybe we will meet again someday. but at the moment, i have my solitary path to take, my demons to slay and my skeletons to bury…

don’t be disappointed. you are both strong people. be there for each other and you will do just fine. so until then…

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