ingatlah, chinta


-lomography, photoshop-

reminiscing old memories…

i remember that day so many years ago, you telling your parents you wanted to stay home instead of going for the holiday with them because you felt unwell. i remember you calling me over immediately when they left. i remember skinny dipping with you in the kidney-shaped pool and sunning naked on the deck chairs after. i remember your different skin tone, a contrast on mine as we lay entwined together. the ink and steel on mine a clash with your perfect unblemished tan skin. i remember the waft of lavender on your beige bedsheets, pillows and your clothes cupboard as you toss the door open. i remember staying over, you called me sayang as i called you dear and we played husband and wife for days. i remember walking hand in hand with you to the stares of people. i remember you getting intimate with me to spite them and we laughed about it after. i remember you teaching me about your religion and you asking me about mine. i remember your brown eyes. i remember your cheeky grin. i remember the last time i slept with you before you went over to Pratt, NY. i remember the last email i got from you.

you said you would forget if i wasn’t around. you said you would drift because you need physical attention and neverending affection. and i think i picked up those bad habits of yours…

it’s so easy to forget. we always let go when all we wanted to was hold on, even for a little bit longer. so would you be flattered if i say i still remember? not all, not 100%. i remember pieces, shards of yesterday. i kept those choice memories safe, close to my heart. but even then, they’re slowly fading away. the mind tends to erase even though the heart can’t let go. a self protection mechanism maybe?

so how about you sayang? because from the silence all these years, i’m very sure, you have already forgotten me.

bukan ku pinta kau kembali. tetapi ingatlah, buat seketika, chinta silam ini.

-sheila majid: cinta jangan kau pergi-

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