shutters open

sorry i was away for so long. so i am back now… but  i guess i am already too late…

thank you for sparing those few hours of your precious time with me. the lunch, the hands, the arms, the body, the smiles, the hush and sighs is what i really truly want and miss. and it took me so damn long to understand that it is your hands that i should have taken in mine and said yes instead.  stupid fucking me…

now, i would have gladly sold my soul to have another chance…

but That Girl Friend is right: what chance do i have against someone that is much more interesting and capable? when i am now starting over with nothing and no long term future plans…

i say: give me a chance. i am working things out. it’s vague but i am most definitely planning. i know it might not be fair to heap this on you but i am planning tomorrow with thoughts of you today. i want a focus and i want the focus to be you. don’t say maybe, don’t say i don’t know. but at least tell me if you can, gently, if it would be futile for me to try.

i am sorry for all those times you chased and i ran far ahead, losing sight of you. i’m getting a dose of my own medicine and indeed it’s a bitter pill to swallow…

It’s been minutes it’s been days.
It’s been all I will remember,
Happy lost in your hair
And the cold side of the pillow.
Your hills and valleys,
Are mapped by my intrepid fingers;
And in a naked slumber, I’ll dream all this again.

-snow patrol: crack the shutters open-

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