some days, i am caught between the need to buy some affection or taking the repercussions of receiving it from someone i absolutely adore but have not so interested in that way in. some days i do miss the sunshine smiles and warm laughters. the gentle strokes and right touches. the whispered affections and hushed profanities. and i know a bought one can never give me the fix i want. it’s only a momentary release but taking it from someone that i don’t have a genuine interest in would complicate matters much more. when i cannot give in return, what they want and expect.

the perils of this human heart. a landmine of emotions. i want, but i cannot get myself to take it. because i still value the love and the presence of all of you in my life.

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