it’s been almost a year since i have stopped photog-ing and writing consistently. and before that i have been writing for years on tekhnikolorprojektor. it’s funny. because i love to write. i have so much to write. to say. to tell. but i can only do so when i am in the deepest, darkest point of my life.

trying to make heads and tails of things at the moment. of life, of work and of love. doesn’t help when the person i look towards to for support is taking her leave from my life.

don’t get me wrong, this is not a blame post. i understand the point she is putting through to me. but i can’t help but wonder… why was i not given a second chance? am i that horrible a person or what i did, which i am still trying to patch together and make sense of, is not worthy of a second try together?

why did we not tackle this slide when it was in its infancy? why did you not approach me and tell me the reasons? something that could be easily fixed, falls into utter disrepair. has reach a point of no return.

what we had was so good. well at least i think it was. i love you unconditionally, faults and all. i worship the ground you walked on. i would gladly give you my life.

i would do what you want, change what you don’t… but, you still insist on saying goodbye…


-lightning seeds: lucky you-

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