there was once this girl, who opened her conversation with me with the line: ‘who would you sleep, in order of first choice till the last, in this room?’ and i looked her in her pretty, long eyelashed brown eyes, told her without a doubt, i would sleep with her first. she asked why. and i said: ‘don’t slap me if i’m frank, but i think you have the nicest pair of eyes, they mesmerise me to no end. both the ones you use to look with and those’ *points to her boobs and whistles* she laughed and whispered in my ears: ‘i’m glad you picked me, cos’ i wanted to say you’re my first choice when you ask me the same question in return, but i was worried i wasn’t yours… and oh yes, they’re nice aren’t they? i think so too…’ she lifted my hand and drew a number and a big ‘D’ in my palm. i gasped, looked at her as she nodded with an oh-so-serious look on her face. and we both had a good private laugh over it.

so we never actually followed up with any lusty animal sex but i made a new good friend that night. i would be lying if i said i didn’t lusted after her or she didn’t hint anything from time to time but i guess the moon and stars were never in the right position in the skies to turn us into monsters for us to rip each other clothes off. but she would always always drive me shitfuckingcrazy by being a human slinky on me whenever we hung out. and it’s weird that those many times that she was drunk out of her mind, i never took the chance to cop a grope or sneak a peek. guess she trusted me not too and i respected her too much to do so. but regardless, my imagination ran out of control, thinking all that separated my skin from her’s was just my shirt and her flimsy top.

and over the years, we drifted apart until one fine day she called and said she got married a few weeks back. i wasn’t surprised at the inevitable but i was at the speed it has happened. people say, if you don’t chase, they will run and there will always be another person out there that knows something good when they see it and catches it before they run away. so babe, have a good life with your husband. i don’t know him personally, but i think, from the times i have worked alongside him, he’s a great person and i know he would treat you very well. i wish you both all the best.

i’m not too sure if it’s right for me to say this but i guess you won’t read this anyways eh?

hey m. , i missed you.

-amerie: thinking of you-

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