everything versus nothing

how do you beat someone that has everything to give? someone that could provide love, shelter and anything you’d ever wanted?

well… you don’t… you just give up, back down graciously, wish them all the best…

and accept defeat…

i want to be selfish, to be someone for you so much… but different places, different times… it’s just like her all over again. told you it wouldn’t change a thing but i lied. i gave too much of myself for this to be ‘just friends’. you know it. i wanna be truthful to you at least. we’ve been friends far too long for that ‘smile-eventhough-you-are-hurting-inside’ crap…

you know, the days we choose ‘what if’, when we chose to even toe the grey areas… things would never be the same again…

honey… never promise… never promise to be single and wait for me, so you can hold my hand… promises are useless if you don’t do good with them, they end up being poison… sugar coated lies…

but i love you and i shall not be selfish… and i always want you to be happy… you know that… i’ll always be here, so be happy for me… know that you do deserve someone like him after running the gauntlet with your heart with so many assholes in your life…

but it still hurts, because it has been so long since i’ve seen you smile for me…

december, december… a promise to remember…

-explosions in the sky: your hand in mine(goodbye)-

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